Babies are scary

So, today I found out that we are having a baby boy. We chose the name Wyatt Joseph, which in its entirety means "Warrior strength sent from God." I am so excited. Joe is excited. Owen and Leah are REALLY excited. The emotion the I have that they do not have is fear. My first to kids were c-sections, which by default means that Wyatt will come into the world by the same means. It is dangerous, sometimes deadly to have a third c-section. It is more dangerous to try to deliver him naturally. Now, that I know his gender and he has a name, I'm even more scared. I am terrified of not making it through a third c-section and leaving three babies without a mother. The one thing that does comfort me is knowing we are done. I love being a mother, and I would have twenty kids if I could, but at the end of this pregnancy, I am having my tubes tied. I am not afraid of this. I am certain that I am done having babies. So many mixed emotion right now.